


Oh Yeah Mr. Krabs

by DepressedHorse



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Sex, Begging, Biting, Enemies to Lovers, Hickeys, M/M, Oral, a little bit of, also i apologize if my grammar is bad, and i dont know how to write lmao, exhibtionism, hand restraints, i tried to be scientifically accurate, if you read this i will see you in hell, im so sorry, im so very tired, oh yeah before i forget, tentaporn, tied up, writing this was painful to say in the least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 08:10:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13337028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedHorse/pseuds/DepressedHorse
Summary: Things get a little steamy late at night at The Krusty Krab.*edit bc this got a lot of views very quickly and I'm a little nervous and I kinda wish you would all tell me what you think, no pressure*





	Oh Yeah Mr. Krabs

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, did you know sometimes during sex that the female octopus will eat the male? The process is called sexual cannibalism. No wonder Squidward's gay!

It was a cold December evening. Snow flurries drifted throughout the bikini bottom, swirling between the buildings and the ocean's undercurrents. 

As Squidward looked at the window he didn't question how it was snowing underwater. He didn't ask himself why the snow sank to the bottom of the ocean and covered the sand instead of melting either. He didn't even think to wonder why such tropical ocean creatures weren't even the least bit affected by this drastic climate change despite the large amount of inhabitants in bikini bottom who are biologically very sensitive to things like temperature and should probably be dead within a matter of hours.

Instead Squidward just went back to sitting back in his cash register boat, half reading some article in fancy living and trying not to let his eyes glaze over.

The Krusty Krab was already closed. Mr. Krabs had already gone home, and he was just sitting there waiting until SpongeBob finished up. He was technically supposed to help SpongeBob but he didn't really care. The yellow sponge liked doing any and all work for the Krusty Krab anyway.

Suddenly SpongeBob burst through one of the doors leading to the back, singing and laughing loudly while skating around the floor and mopping in a ridiculous fashion. Squidward had half a mind to yell at SpongeBob to be quiet or make some kind of snarky comment but he didn't have the energy. Usually insulting SpongeBob brought him joy but these days Squidward was just too depressed. With the holidays coming up seeing everyone so happy  together just made him feel miserable as he came home to an empty dark house at the end of each work day. Looking around bikini bottom everyday everyone always seemed to be smiling and with friends, family, or some sort of partner.

" _ A partner... _ " Squidward thought to himself. Squidward hadn't been intimate with someone in years. Ever since high school he knew he was gay. That never really was a problem before. Bikini Bottom and everywhere else he lived was always pretty open and accepting. But, in recent years he just hadn't met anyone. These days if he saw any action at all it was just him and his tentacles.

Squidward pushed those thoughts out of his head, he could dwell on his depressing life when he got home. He glanced at his watch and it the small clock read "8:37 pm". Squidward just grunted and moved to get up. He technically wasn't supposed to leave until 9 but he didn't care, its not like Krabs was here anyway to yell at him or threaten to take it out of his paycheck.

As Squidward started moving and began to get out of his cash register boat SpongeBob took notice.

"Hey Squidward where ya' going?" Spongebob asked with a concerned voice.

"Getting myself out of this godforsaken place so I can go back to my miserably desolate home" Squidward retorted as he began walking towards the door.

"But Squidward! According to section VII, bullet point 2a regarding employee behavior and disciplinary actions in the Krusty Krab contract we signed prior to hire, Under no circumstances are employees allowed to leave the property before closing time!" SpongeBob cited allowed before promptly shoving a copy of the contract in Squidward's face that he seemingly got out of nowhere.

Squidward growled in anger before slapping the papers out of SpongeBob's hand and away from him. "SpongeBob I don't care what it says! It's not like Mr. Krabs is here anyway" Squidward turned around angrily and began putting on his scarf. "Hrrmph" Squidward said exhaling grumpily out of his phallic shaped nose.

Squidward began storming towards the entrance, just as he had touched the glass doorway with his right tentacle, SpongeBob spoke up again.

"But Squidward, you shouldn't have to go home and be alone."

As much as Squidward hated to admit it, that sentence was like a knife through his heart. Squidward was sad for a moment, but that emotion was quickly replaced with anger and he began fuming. Squidward snapped his head around to look at SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob, I would rather RIDE MY BIKE off that cliff again, while on FIRE, while listening to SQUIDDY AZEALIA, then stay here, WITH YOU" Squidward yelled angrily, panting a little bit from working himself up. Squidward spun around once more turning his attention to the door when he felt a yellow hand grab him from behind, near the bottom of his stomach.

"I can make it worth your while Squidward" said SpongeBob in a low voice.

Squidward stood up straight quickly, suprised from Spongebob's sudden touch. He began to slowly turn around as he wasn't sure what was going on when suddenly SpongeBob pulled on his scarf and yanked him down into a kiss.

It was a little awkward at first, between Squidward's surprise at the action and the awkward size and shapes of both of there noses but they soon both relaxed into it. After a moment or two they both broke away for air.

Squidward stood up once more relieving his back of tension from the awkward position he had to stand in to kiss SpongeBob. "SpongeBob..." Squidward said, voice trailing off, unsure of what to say. He was still astonished by the kiss. He hated to admit it, but he kinda liked it.

SpongeBob twiddle his fingers, blushing and averting his eyes. "I've wanted to do that for a long time Squidward" he said. 

Squidward was even more perplexed now. A minute ago he had grabbed him like some sort of sex-crazed sponge and now he was blushing and shy? What kind of game was he playing at? There was so many thoughts going through his head at the time that he just stared back at SpongeBob dumbfounded with his mouth open a little.

SpongeBob started again staring at the floor. "Squidward I don't know how you really feel about me, I know that sometimes you just think I'm some barnacle-brained nincompoop but.." SpongeBob looked up at Squidward, eyes blazing with determination. "I think you liked that kiss and I would really like it of you stayed in with me tonight!".

This was a lot for Squidward to process. He never thought that all this time SpongeBob might have feelings for him. Sure he realized years ago that SpongeBob was gay, there would be days where SpongeBob would spend the whole day frolicking around throwing flowers into the air while he practically had rainbows shooting out of the holes in his body, there was no way he wasn't gay. But after all these years they've worked together and lived next door to one another he had been pushing SpongeBob away. Whether it was through insults, threats, once in a while resorting to physical violence, for the most part he had showed SpongeBob nothing more then his hatred for him. But SpongeBob still cared for him. Something he didn't get a lot from others these days. Before Squidward even knew what he was saying the words tumbled out if his mouth, 

"Alright SpongeBob", and with that SpongeBob grabbed Squidward tentacle and led him near the back of the restaurant.

Together they climbed back into Squidward cash register boat. "Were they really gonna do it  _ here _ " Squidward thought. Squidward sat in this boat everyday for work almost 8 hours a day. Doing it here was kinda dirty, albeit exciting. Besides that, The Krusty Krab may be closed but the lights were still on, the walls were mostly windows, and it was only a little before 9. Anyone could walk by and peer in and see what they're doing.

Squidward sat back on the bench in his cash register boat, leaving a little room for SpongeBob to sit next to him. But SpongeBob didn't sit next to him, instead he crawled into Squidwards lap. They started kissing again. It started slow and soft at first but as the hunger for one another grew (among other things) they began to kiss with more of a need and passion. Squidward slowly removed the scarf around his neck tossing it somewhere in The Krusty Krab. As their tongues battled for dominance, SpongeBob began taking off his tie.

At first Squidward figured that SpongeBob was just loosening it to get more comfortable. But, as SpongeBob undid the the knot and whipped it from his neck, he grabbed Squidward's wrists and tied them together behind his back. Squidward had never been tied up before but he decided he might as well let it happen. Tonight was a night for a lot of firsts, besides it was kinda hot. So he didnt protest and just muttered a "holy barnacles" and let SpongeBob do his thing.

After SpongeBob had properly secured the tie around Squidwards wrists he went back to kissing Squidward with passion. His mouth had begun to leave his Squidwards lips and had slowly begun to trail down Squidwards neck, stopping occasionally to suck and bite the tender skin, as he moved down his shoulders.

The feeling was insatiable, Squidward swore that when he closed his eyes he could see fireworks. He needed this. Neptune knew he needed this. But as much as he wanted to enjoy this to the full extent, he wasn't sure how far this could go. They were two different species, and while occasionally in the past he dabbled a bit outside of just the realm of cephalopods, a sponge was a different scenario. As he stretched back far into his memory trying to remember his own high school sex-ed class he recalled sponges are capable of both reproducing asexually and sexually. He knew that SpongeBob didn't exactly have a penis but did have the ability to cum.

Squiward felt guilty for not reciprocating anything, but he was just unsure how exactly to pleasure SpongeBob either. He started getting tired of just sitting there like some idiot rag-doll so he finally just decided just to ask SpongeBob.

"Spongebob how do I..." Squidward stopped mid sentence unsure of how to phrase it. SpongeBob stopped sucking on Squidward and looked patiently up at him.

Squidward tried again "How do I....you know" Squidward said trying not to get to embarrassed.

"Rub my holes" said SpongeBob bluntly.

"....What"

"Rub. My. Holes"

"Ok.." Squidward said a little puzzled. "How do you expect me to do that, Im a little tied up here" he said jutting his head in an attempt to gesture to his tied up tentacles.

"Use your legs, they're tentacles too, just like your arms" SpongeBob said before he turned his attention back to Squidward's body. Squidward followed suit lifting up one of his legs and began using to stroke SpongeBob's back and sides. In turn SpongeBob lifted up Squidward's shirt, unable to take it off due to the restraints on his wrists. 

Spongebob began moving his mouth down Squidward's chest leaving little kisses everywhere. Meanwhile Squidward began moving his tentacles in and out of SpongeBob's holes causing SpongeBob to elicit a string of low moans, to which Squidward answered by moving a little faster. 

He began snaking his tentacles between the holes in the Porifera's body having them enter one hole and come out another. He moved his tentacles in and out, occasionally dragging his suction cups along the edges of the holes. He couldn't imagine what this felt like to the little sponge, but he decided that it must of felt particularly good because soon SpongeBob had a string of sin flowing out of his mouth. It was then SpongeBob moved to the ground kneeling in front if Squidward.

"Is this it" Spongebob asked gesturing to one of Squidwards particularly swollen legs. He was talking about his "third arm" as the kids called it. He was suprised SpongeBob knew about it. Not many who were not cephalopods themselves knew that an octupus' penis was actually disguised as a leg.

SpongeBob started out with light feather like touches at the base near the squid's hips stroking his Squidhood. But as he got farther away from his hips and closer to the head SpongeBob began to get more aggressive jerking his length causing Squidward to moan loudly. SpongeBob wrapped both of his hands around Squidward's hectocotylus and began to suck on the tip.

Squidward couldn't get over the feeling of Spongebob's hot mouth on his octo-cock. Sure he's had blowjobs before but damn, SpongeBob seemed good at it,  disturbingly good. Every time SpongeBob licked or sucked it was like a wave of pleasure washing over Squidward. Be was completely helpless to the slut of Sponge who sat before him. He just sat back barely feeling the wood of the cash register boat behind him. The tentacles that were tied up behind his back were starting go numb from being in the same position for so long, but that didn't matter. He was too busy enjoying the moment, head thrown back, eyes closed tightly, dick twitching in the sponge’s mouth with the occasional shudder. 

At some point he tried to open his eyes and look down at SpongeBob but he was greeted with SpongeBob staring right back up at him, making direct eye contact. One look at those big blue eyes and those long lashes was dangerous.

"SpongeBob Please...I can't...I can't take it anymore" Squidward begged.

In response SpongeBob remove his mouth from his Octo-cock, stood up and leaned over Squidward resting his hand on Squidward's shoulder. His mouth hovered next to the side of his head and SpongeBob whispered in a low voice.

“What do you want me to do to you Squidward” he asked with a purr to his voice.

_ “Oh Neptune is he trying to make me beg now?”  _ Squidward thought to himself.

“ SpongeBob please...” Squidward whimpered.

“Please what Squidward?”

_ “God he’s a sadist” _

“Please...Please...Please ride me!” yelled Squidward.

And that's all it took for SpongeBob to grab Squidward’s swollen yet erect octo-cock. As he grabbed with one hand he shimmied out of his clothes, leaving the boxey articles of fabric on the floor. He reached down and went through his pockets and searched in them for a bit before pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom.

_ “Who carries around bottles of lube and condoms, and brings them to work no less. He’s more than a sadist, he’s a sex freak!” _

SpongeBob poured the cold gelatinous lube his finger and slathered some on Squidward’s member and rubbed some around the ring of the hole of his choice.

“ _ I guess he doesn’t have to prepare himself much because he’s a sponge…” _

It was then SpongeBob turned around and began to get into position Squidward stopped him.

“Wait, SpongeBob, I wanna see your face”. Squidward would love a chance to look at those square little butt cheeks more but for now he would like to do things right. 

SpongeBob smiled and clicked his teeth in response as he positioned himself over Squidward’s lap, legs set apart. He grabbed Squidwards squidly staff. Now it was time for the tricky part. Squidward had some pretty long legs, not exceptionally long for an octopus, but long enough that it made his “third arm” difficult to position when it came to other sea creatures that were not cephalopods. 

SpongeBob had to  practically stand to get it in him. At first it was rough going but once he got it to slide in, between the lube and his naturally spongy body it was easy. 

SpongeBob began to slam his body up and down the Squid’s octo-cock. They both had moans tumbling out of their mouths wildly from the unbelievable amount of pleasure they were both feeling. Squidward caressed SpongeBob’s body with his available tentacles.

What seemed like hours went by but it was more likely minutes. SpongeBob came first. Cum oozing out of his pores and it flooded the room practically. Squidward in awe but as he soon climaxed as well he watched his own cum practically ooze out of SpongeBob’s pores. 

SpongeBob rolled off of him and they were panting trying to ride out the post orgasmic bliss.

“So...was that good?” Squidward asked nervously.

SpongeBob looked at him with a gleam in his eye. “Oh yeah Mr. Krabs”

“Please stop talking

 

*****************************************************************

Mr. Krabs was attempting to bark orders at Squidward scolding him for reading magazines yet again while he was supposed to be working.

“Whatever” Squidward said aloofly, not really paying attention to him.

Mr. Krabs was about to start with him again when he narrowed his eyes at Squidward.

“Mr. Squidward, is that a hickey on your neck?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> hmu with that fresh kudos if Squidward is your favorite gay depressed sea creature


End file.
